“I heard this one time a kid was late and Coach Oleander held him upside down until he turned blue but the kid had just drank a six pack of soda so when the coach shook him up, he exploded.” — Vernon, on being late for Basic Braining

Vernon Tripe is one of the campers at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp. He likes nothing better than telling stories, and thinks he is incredibly gifted in this field. However, because of his dull, nasal voice, repetitive grammar, and excessive attention to trivial details, he is regarded by most of his campmates as the worst speaker in history, and is often avoided.

He has a dog named "Lady" with which he likes to go on (very) long walks, and comes from a long line of storytellers (or so he says).

Vernon is voiced by Faith Abrahams.


Most often when Razputin happens across Vernon, he is telling a story of some sort, some of which contain some hidden truths, and some of which are just complete nonsense.

The first time is in Basic Braining, where Vernon can be seen climbing across a ledge and exploding, and later is found in the plane at the middle of the level, where he will tell a literally never-ending story about a walk he took with his dog once, a story he has dubbed "The longest walk of all time". He is sucked out of the plane when Raz punches the door on the side open.

He can later be seen playing hide and seek with Dogen, Elka, and Milka, but he does not find any of them because they cheated, having gone invisible. He keeps looking for them for a long time afterwards, waiting at one point for Milka to come out of a cave he saw her enter, oblivious to the fact that it leads to the lake. He eventually finds Elka and tries to tag her, only to get hit before he gets the chance.

Vernon is later found sitting in the T.V. room with the de-brained Dogen, Kitty, and Franke. He tells a boring story to all of them numerous times, about civil war soldiers finding Thorney Towers and discovering the Hulking Lungfish living there. The story is mostly nonsensical, but does contain some foreshadowing. Vernon eventually gets up to go to the bathroom only to find everyone gone when he returns. Worried about their disappearance, he goes out looking for them but gets kidnapped by the Hulking Lungfish and is taken to get de-brained.

After having his brain found by Raz, and then getting it put back in place, he immediately puts himself to the task of writing down the amazing story of the events that happened during the game. When Raz goes to speak to him in the Main Lodge, however, it becomes apparent he is writing in a number of alterations to the truth, including making himself into the hero of the story.


  • Using Clairvoyance, Vernon sees Raz as a giant ear, referring to how Raz often listens to what he has to say (if only because it is entertaining to the player), or potentially because he simply sees everyone, including Raz, as nothing more than an audience for his stories.
  • Vernon's first story, "The Longest Walk of All Time" is composed of pre-recorded lines played in a random order, just like Boyd's paranoid ramblings.
  • There are hints throughout the game that Vernon may have a crush on Franke Athens, and seemingly even considers her his girlfriend, though he believes it is a well-guarded secret.
  • Vernon's favorite movie is The Never-ending Story.
  • Vernon's favorite TV shows include Charlie Rose.
  • Psychadet rank:Tender Brain
  • Hometown:Cincinnati, OH

Quotes Edit

"I heard this one time a kid was late for basic braining and Coach Oleander held him upside down until he turned blue but the kid had just drank a six pack of soda and so when the coach shook him up, he exploded." (Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, right before Basic Braining.)
"Okay, okay. Everybody likes J.T. and so do I! Don't get me wrong! But sometimes, I'm just saying... sometimes maybe the harmonica jam sessions at the campfire go a liiiiittle long, is all I'm saying. Sometimes somebody's got a really good story they want to tell, but they can't because it's all harmonica, harmonica, harmonica, and I think honestly, just a tip--people would like to hear maybe more stories, less harmonica. Not that I don't love it of course. The harmonica. But who doesn't love a good story?" (Campster, JT's page)