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“I'm the guard. I've been fully trained.” — Boyd Cooper
Camp boyd

Boyd Cooper is a clinically insane resident of the Asylum.

Background Edit

Boyd was once a security guard at a department store called "Hernando's". One day, he was fired. Boyd had already been fired from a string of jobs and couldn't bear the thought of being fired from yet another one, so, using Molotov cocktails fashioned from empty milk bottles, he burned the department store down in a fit of rage. He was duly arrested, found insane, and sent to Thorney Towers Home for the Disturbed.

At some point, he was hypnotized by Coach Oleander, who implanted subconscious orders into Boyd's mind to guard the Asylum from prying eyes and if necessary, burn the place down to hide any evidence of Oleander's plans.

PsychonautsEdit

Who do you work for...?

–Raz questioning Boyd.

Raz first ecounters Boyd guarding the Asylum Gates, where he finds him continously mumbling to himself about several conspiracies and writing on the walls. Boyd asks him who he works for, as a confused Raz states himself to be working with the Psychonauts. Boyd states this "Doesn't fit in at all", and proceeds to talk to himself. Raz then asks who Boyd works for, he dodges the question by simply stating he is the guard of the Asylum and that he's been "fully trained." In a hurry, Raz pleads for Boyd to open the Gates, but he claims that the "Milkman has the key". Desperate for information, Raz is curious of the Milkman's location, but Boyd theorizes that he is sleeping on the job. Unable to obtain any straight answers from the paranoid guard, Raz pulls out his Psycho-Portal, and descends into the mind of Boyd Cooper.

The Milkman Edit

“I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious.” — The Milkman

The Milkman is Boyd's alter-ego. In Boyd's mind (Milkman Conspiracy), the Milkman is apparently dead, although Boyd and the G-Men do not believe it. When Raz eventually finds the body of the Milkman, he is forced to battle the Den Mother, who has apparently been guarding it. When she is defeated, the Milkman awakes, taking control of Boyd in the real world. Dressed similarly to Boyd in real life, although in white, the Milkman will not rest until he completes his final delivery. The Milkman is actually a personality implanted by Oleander to destroy the insane asylum, erasing any evidence of what went on there. He accomplishes this using a Molotov cocktail made from a milk bottle. After burning the Establishment (read: Asylum), Boyd returns to his previous demeanor. The figments and subconscious orders Coach Oleander planted in Boyd's mind (including the G-Men, the Rainbow Squirts, and the Milkman) leave after he has completed his task, whereupon Boyd says "The Milkman has completed his route", much to the confusion of Fred, Gloria, and Edgar. After that, he casually turns to the three and asks if they want to split for a cab.

Boyd's MindEdit

Conspiracies

Various papers are seen taped onto Boyd's wall.

''
Boyd Cooper Viewing his conspiracies

Boyd viewing various cut-out papers with conspiracies and theories written on them.

Main Article: Milkman Conspiracy

QuotesEdit

Outside the Aslyum GatesEdit

  • "I'm the guard, I've been fully trained."
  • "I'll bet he's sleeping on the job, his milk is delicious, everyone wants it. 'He'll be here soon, and the lies will end."
  • "Gah! Not another tracking device!"
  • (After leaving Boyd's mind prior to completion) "You! You're one of them! Stay away!
  • "Had everyone fooled!"
  • "Are telling my location to..."
  • "Sorry, the Milkman has the key, I am not the Milkman, I'm the guard!"
  • "Huh?! Who are you working for?!
  • "The who? That doesn't fit in! That doesn't fit in at all! Maybe I've got this all wrong!"
  • "The kid with the goggles..."
  • "The little fat kid with the bunny..."

Inside Boyd's MindEdit

  • "Burned up in a department store fire, didn't you hear? At least, that's what the media would have you believe. Is he dead or not?"
  • "Go out to the Graveyard! Dig him up! Oh, you'll find something there, but it's neither man nor milk."
  • "Be careful, they're watching, all the time!"
  • "It's perfect, isn't it?"
  • "Almost complete, just a few missing pieces."
  • "But it's ALL about the Milkman!"
  • (If Raz hits Boyd) "Aah! I'm telling you! I don't know where the Milkman is!"
  • (If Raz uses Telekinesis on Boyd) "Aah! They've come for me! They're taking me away!"
  • The Milkman

    Boyd as "The Milkman" in his mind.

    (If Raz talks to Boyd after he is given a fake gun) "Give a loaded gun to a ten year old? Do I look crazy to you?"
  • (If Raz asks where the door is) "On the front...like most refrigerators."
  • "Made a deal, back in 68' with..."
  • "I scream, you scream, we all scream, we all scream..."
  • "You can pass it over the counter, but that don't make it over the counter!"
  • "You know my house is clean, right? Right, boss?!
  • "They should paint their garage door the same color as everybody else's!"
  • "The housing committee is not going to like this!"
  • "All them haters!"
  • "The doctors back at the clinic..."
  • "Are telling my location to..."
  • "Am I? Or is he? Am I he?! What is he doing in my house?!"
  • "Huh? Are you sure these are your children?"
  • "Ha Ha! L-Like I don't know that they..."
  • "Why does that hydrant keep looking at me?!"
  • "G-man! Who you working for?! Who is G?"
  • "And the little girl stuck her finger in the dyke and saved all the windmills. But who does the little girl work for?"
  • "Foreign toy makers..."
  • "The Cows!"
  • "In order to monopolize..."
  • "The band manager..."
  • "The Squirrels have EYES!"
  • "The intelligence community..."
  • Milk man1
    "The rodeo clown cartel..."
  • "The pelicans..."
  • "Oh, you think that's regular yarn, do you?!"
  • "Y-You think you can get this past me?! I'm the guard!"
  • "This is ugly, it's like a cyclops, with a million eyes!"
  • "Someone has to get this information to the people!"
  • "Those eggheads in their ivory tower..."
  • "I thought you worked for me!"
  • "Hey, don't worry about me. I'm centered. I'm the whole center in fact."
  • "Who are merely the pawns of..."
  • "The truth is sleeping in a glass box."
  • "Did I just think that? Or did someone make me think it?"
  • "And if they find out if I know this stuff, I'm dead!"
  • "They think the windows are tinted, but they aren't tinted NEARLY enough!"
  • "The tuna canneries have been living off the teat of the dairy industry."
  • "Wait." (In between conspiracies)
  • "Who are the puppet masters of..."
  • "The fire will start in men's wear!"
  • "Ate a whole jar of olives, with uh..."
  • "And sure as the nose on my face, I am sure they..."
  • "How long do they think they can hide that?!"
  • "The Psycho...whats-its...?"
  • "Hey! Lady! Where you going with that sweater?"
  • "These are not my dot-to-dots. These are not my babies."
  • "Keep sparring with me."
  • "Something's got to give!"
  • "Oh man, this stuff is hot."
  • "All in a big fight over..."
  • "Some sort of power, you know..."
  • "Last specimen of the super virus!"
  • "Someone moved into my neighborhood, uninvited!"
  • "Have been fixing oil prices!"
  • "Of course! The milk's got spiderwebs in it! Taste it!"
  • "The ice cream's in the web, the web is in the cream."
  • "And he waits, and he waits..."
  • "Are you buying, or are you spying?"
  • "Have been spitting on me all day!"
  • "I mean, who do they think they're fooling?!"
  • "Signed a secret treaty with..."
  • "I see myself more as a turtle, with a rocket strapped to its back!"
  • "The freaky hunchback girl who loves brains so much..."
  • "Can I really be the only person who sees this?!"
  • "The military industrial complex..."
  • "The national park system!"
  • "All those stupid Crows!"
  • "But they can't hide that they..."
  • "If I know anything, I know that they..."
  • "The five richest families in the country..."
  • "Got in bed with..."
  • "Hey, where's the boss?"
  • "Stole my theories and reprinted them incorrectly, to discredit them."
  • "My first cat... Seymour."
  • "My hooch!"
  • "The housing committee is not going to like this."
  • "Or else, maybe..."
  • "In conjunction with..."
  • "The analyticals, man..."
  • "Has been officially linked with..."
  • "And then it comes out of those wires over there, and goes straight into my head, with all its little audio tricks!"
  • "And nobody, seems to care!"

TriviaEdit

  • The character of Boyd Cooper was inspired in-part by a man who swept up the alley by the Double Fine Productions building. Several of Boyd's lines were inspired by his ramblings.
  • Psychonauts - Epic Boyd Glitch01:47

    Psychonauts - Epic Boyd Glitch

    The "Boyd Pyro" glitch.

    It is implied Boyd may have a smoking habit, as several ash trays are seen lying around in his house.
  • A glitch can occur on the PC version of Psychonauts by using Pyrokinesis on Boyd in the Real world will cause the flames to never extinguish, and he will continue to burn, while walking and speaking normally.
  • After exiting his house, Boyd can be seen peeking out through his window, most likely watching out for G-Men.
  • Inside his mind, if Pyrokinesis is used on Boyd, and you choose to talk to him, he will stop jumping around, and will stand still, and proceed to talk.
  • Boyd's ramblings are the result of a program that randomly assembles phrases, which means that he is very unlikely to say the same thing twice in a row.
  • Boyd's voice actor, Alan Blumenfeld, also voices Glottis in Grim Fandango, another game by Tim Schafer.
  • Using Clairvoyance on Boyd as the Milkman shows Raz as a milk bottle with a head.
  • While rambling, Boyd may occasionally reference "the little fat kid with the bunny", foreshadowing the final level, Meat Circus. His ramblings also refer to Sheegor and Mr. Pokeylope.
  • It should be noted that unlike with Fred, Gloria and Edgar, Raz exploring Cooper's mind doesn't help with his insanity/paranoia in any way; it simply triggers his alter ego, The Milkman.
  • When Boyd is hit with a Confusion Grenade (obtained by cheating) before the Milkman Conspiracy is completed, he temporarily comes to his senses and says this quote:
    • "Wait a minute, I think there may not be a conspiracy after all. It's possible that I am suffering from paranoid delusions, linked to an entity I call 'The Milkman' who is in actuality... (confusion wears off)  The mummified remains of Abraham Lincoln!"

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